I woke up to my alarm Sunday morning after staying up too late on Saturday night, and after having a really weird dream about my new truck continuously dying on me. In my sleepiness I concluded that this must mean that I should drive the truck to church that day. I went back to sleep and thought that at least today would be a good day to get donuts with the boys. Calvin and Joseph finally came in and woke me up at some point. I was super excited to get dressed and surprise them. I got up and hustled to get ready. Then I called the boys back to their rooms to get them dressed. Joseph didn’t exactly listen, being the stubborn two year old that he is while remaining completely adorable. So I walked into the living room and that’s when I saw it! The chair pushed up to the counter. The chocolate smudges around Joseph’s lips. His older brother nowhere to be found because he knew he was going to be in trouble. The boys got into their momma’s chocolate candies while we were asleep. I. Was. LIVID!
I yelled for Calvin to get into the living room RIGHT NOW! I basically read them the riot act asking what in the world they were thinking getting into their momma’s candies while we were asleep when we’ve told them at least a hundred times to not touch ANYTHING on the counter that isn’t one of their water cups. I made them clean up whatever mess was made and spanked them both on top of that because they did the exact same thing a few weeks ago. So much for donuts!
I went back into our room to let Angela know what happened so she would know why the boys are crying first thing in the morning. I put in my contacts and just stared in the mirror trying to calm myself down. I rarely get this upset over things, because I realize they’re little boys and chaos and destruction is part of their DNA right now. But you don’t get into momma’s stuff when she doesn’t have near enough for herself as she should because she has three little munchkins who constantly want to share.
That’s when I felt God say, “Give them grace.”
I walked out of our bedroom and carried them into Calvin’s room and gave them hugs and told them that I loved them, even when they disobey. Just like God loves us even when we disobey him. We talked about how disobedience was sin, at least at this age, because God put momma and daddy in charge of them to help them grow big and strong and stay safe. We talked about how Adam and Eve sinned and fractured the whole of creation making it impossible to be with God. We talked a bit more about how God loves us and I asked them if they knew what grace was. When they both said they didn’t, we talked about how we didn’t deserve to be with God because of our sin, but God gave us grace and sent Jesus to die for us so that we could be with God again. Then I told them that I woke up and wanted to take them to get donuts, but they didn’t deserve donuts because they broke the rules and got into momma’s candy. Then I told them that just like God gave us grace in Jesus, that I was going to give them grace and let us go get donuts.
That’s when Calvin got really sad. I asked him what was wrong. He said, “Grace is bad. We don’t deserve donuts.” I pulled him close and said, “No, buddy. Grace is good and amazing. Grace means that we’re going to get donuts even though you don’t deserve donuts. Just like we get to be with God even though we don’t deserve to be with God.”
I don’t think I’ve seen that boy smile so big in a while, and he smiles A LOT!
I’m sure he was smiling more about getting donuts than the deep mysteries of grace and God’s character. I wonder, though, when was the last time that God’s grace in Christ toward me made me smile that big?
I may have overslept that Sunday morning, but God still took all of us to Church.