Being single is hard. I know, marriage is hard, too. But being single is just obnoxious. It may be a stretch to say that we are created for marriage, but somehow being single still feels like I’m missing something. I don’t just mean sex, though I do include that. It’s all the other stuff. Having someone to do life with on a daily basis, someone who is closer than a roommate can be. Having someone to provide for and take care of. And having someone make fun of me for ending sentences in prepositions because I just don’t want to think it through more thoroughly…and because I’m from Texas. Having a reason to make work feel like I’m doing more than just paying bills to continue a cycle of working to pay bills.
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I’ve had one of those days recently. A day when being single just weighs on you. When all your single friends are busy and your married friends are, well, married. You spend most of the day trying to be productive. Reading. Writing. Praying. Then you eventually start just medicating. Turn on the TV. Put down the book and people watch at Starbucks, or what ever small coffee shop the hipsters prefer. But the more you medicate, the more something deep inside stirs, longing for more. Longing for depth – for wholeness. And all of these feelings come down to one thing.
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Several years ago, I was introduced to this foreign concept called “philosophy.” After my Intro to Philosophy professor finally resolved all of my “How philosophy doesn’t necessarily contradict Theology” questions and issues, I began to see its value, and did my best to immerse myself in this type of Christian thinking. As part of this process, I began attending symposiums that the philosophy professor of the college I attended put together. During one of these, a recent graduate read her philosophy thesis from the previous year. That thesis radically altered my view of women for the better. The punch line for me was when she pointed out a cultural stereotype of how we tend to define and articulate that which is important to achieving masculinity and femininity.
…boys are providers, girls are pretty…
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