In Which We Must Work Together (Or The Email I Sent To Courtney Reissig)

A couple of days ago Courtney Reissig reviewed Jesus Feminist over at The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood blog. This is a conservative, Complementarian blog. So, much of what was said didn’t really surprise me. There were a few things that I felt should be addressed, and as the comment section is closed on their blog I resorted to emailed Courtney the moment after I read her review.

I initially hesitated on posting anything here because I honestly didn’t want to stir up more chaos, but part of that was wanting to avoid dealing with people who disagree with me, whether they be in my own “tribe” or not. I hesitated in part because anything viewed as public “correction” can be a source of all kinds of evil (even when done completely gracefully), but I also hesitated because I would rather people keep liking what I have to say here. In short, for a moment I was afraid to speak what I believe is true out of fear of what my readers might think – out of what people I know personally might think.

The more that weight pressed on me, the more I realized I needed to repent of “fear of man” and speak truth without shame. The least important reason is that when a member of my own “tribe” says something so damaging then I can’t stay silent on that for the sake of my tribe. But there are bigger implications here, gospel implications, that must be addressed and thought through.

So, I have pasted the email I sent to Courtney below. I have not edited it for tone or content since I sent the original email. I pray the words would weigh heavy on Complementarians and Egalitarians alike, and that we would find unity and strength in the blood of Jesus.


Hi, Courtney. There wasn’t a comment section on your review of Jesus Feminist, so I’m resorting to this because I’m honestly concerned by it.

First, I appreciate your acknowledging the good parts of Sarah’s book. There are many complementarian bloggers who would just skip that step and move on to what they don’t like. I’m grateful that you were able to see the same grace-filled tone that I did when I read Jesus Feminist a couple months ago.

To set more context here, as I did in my review of her book and probably the follow up piece too, I’m a Complementarian, Calvinist, Evangelical, kind of Baptist guy. So, Theologically I don’t really have an argument against what you believe, because I believe it too.

Minor concerns

New ideas aren’t always necessary for something to be innovative. Her tone was innovative. Telling her story with such grace and humility was innovative. She stepped into a conversation that is so often filled with angry voices and she spoke softly. I know you saw this, because you included it in your review. But think about how hard it must be for someone to pour their life into the pages of a book and hold back the legitimate anger and pain she must feel at seeing some of the real ways in which she sees women being mistreated or considered “less than”. Exposing her heart and being so graceful in the process is absolutely innovative given the context of this conversation as a whole.

And the book was never meant to be an academic argument. Rather it was meant to show what life looks like on the other side of the debates. She basically says that in the book.

I grew up in church. First charismatic/non-denominational when I was younger, then First Baptist when I was in my early twenties. Now I’m blessed to be at The Village. It wasn’t until I came to The Village that I’d even heard of women’s ministry being anything substantial. True, that isn’t everyone’s story, but I fear it’s a lot more than we want to admit, particularly in the 80’s and 90’s as I was growing up. So, was part of that a caricature? Maybe. I do remember reading more than just the examples you mentioned, but it’s been a while so I can’t cite them off hand. But maybe there is more truth to the caricature than we would want to admit? I don’t know.

The Big Problem

The main problem I have with this review is your conclusion.

Complementarians and egalitarians can both equally love the lost, proclaim the gospel, and serve in ministry but at the end of the day I do not see how we can do that together.

I’m sorry, but that’s just nonsense. I’m doing my best to hold back the “Mark Driscoll” side of me, but I’m honestly confused, annoyed, and even a little pissed at that conclusion.

Is Christ’s Church divided or are we united in Him? Are the words of Paul concerning the Jew and Greek being one in Christ wasted on us? Surely not, and they had far greater differences than Egalitarians and Complementarians. When I talk with missionaries, people who are in unreached places and where seeing another Christian is so rare that it’s precious, they don’t care about doctrinal differences. They care that they have found a brother or sister in Christ with whom they can worship and have community. They are glad they have found family.

Yet over here in the U.S. it’s a different story. We focus more on our differences than we do the blood of Christ which unites us because we’re so used to being comfortable in our Christianity that we have time to argue with family instead giving each other a hug as we go about kingdom work. We’re so consumed with the science of Theology that we’re often underdeveloped in the pastoral application of that Theology. Resulting in a bunch of brilliant Theologians who don’t have the grace to communicate truth lovingly. (I’m not saying this about you personally, but in general.)

Is God not sovereign? Can the Egalitarian and Complementarian not link arms and make disciples and trust God to be God? Surely we must be able to do this, or we need to revisit what we confess the word “sovereign” to mean. I’ll even take it a step further and say that the Arminian and the Calvinist can do the exact same thing, and do so joyfully when they focus on the common bond they have in Christ, a bond that will last for all eternity after all these differences fade away when redemption is finally consummated and we know in full what we now only see in part.

Now, will most Complementarians be at one local church and Egalitarians at another? Sure. I see the logic and the wisdom in that. But this is because we follow our convictions of what we see in Scripture and it would be unwise of us to sit under someone we believe to be wrong and not Biblically accurate, at least for an extended period of time. There is absolutely room for a Calvinist going to an Arminian church for God to work something out in his heart, or work something into the heart of the people of that church.

But do say that we can’t “love the lost, proclaim the gospel, and serve in ministry” together? I will fight tooth and nail against that statement, and I have been for some time even before you made it. We are one in Christ. If God can reconcile the sinner unto Himself, then surely He can give the Complementarian and Egalitarian the grace and strength to accept, love, and embrace one another as family and do kingdom work with them despite our differences. If the gospel is powerful enough to proclaim the Jew and Gentile as one through the blood of Christ then it is most definitely powerful enough to break through the dividing walls of doctrinal differences so that Complementarians and Egalitarians would treat each other, and function, like one Body.

Oh for the day when those who confess the Doctrines of Grace extend that same grace toward those with different beliefs.

I’ll say this, too. I don’t have much time for blogs lately, but when I do Sarah’s is at the top of the list. Not because I agree with everything, but because I need more of that grace-filled tone in my life. I have been blessed to learn much about this from her as my peer and friend. And she is one woman I am absolutely glad and proud to call my sister in Christ.


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