I’ve never liked endings. Even when I was a little kid, or maybe especially then. Whether it be the end of a birthday party as a child, gospel goodbyes as an adult, or even the last Blue Collar Comedy Tour movie. Endings made and make me sad. I used to tell myself that it’s just part of life and that I’ve gotta develop thicker skin and not let it get to me so much. Today, though, I realized that there may be something deeper than just being sensitive to change or wanting to avoid reality. I believe it’s because deep down, before I knew how to express it, I knew that we are wired for eternity.
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It’s been a while since I’ve spent time in this space. Part of the reason for this is adjusting to the changes that come with marriage. The changes of available time to read, study, and write. The changes of not really knowing what to write about, or what I should or shouldn’t write about when I wanted to write about marriage and its ups and downs. The changes in the state of my heart that led me to want to spend more time relaxing with my wife than doing the hard work of soul-searching, sin killing, and pursuing my own sanctification. The changes in not needing to lean on God the same way, but still blind to see how I needed to lean on Him differently.
